The Offspring’s “Want You Bad” was the inspiration for this entry.  

While listening to it recently, for the first time I discovered it’s actually a very sad song. Behind the band’s demonstrative, heavy guitar riffs and passionate, rhythmic drumming, lead singer Dexter Holland sings fervently about a boy yearning for a special girl. Maybe it’s love, or just lust (probably the latter, hence “all tattooed” and “X-Rated” in a “vinyl suit”), but either way he wants her so bad he’s losing his mind. Relentless desire, coupled with continued frustration at the fact that - let’s face it - she just doesn’t get it, is driving this poor boy to the brink of insanity.

(Maybe she’s just not that into you, Dexter…) :D

In all seriousness, some of us have been there. It’s gut-wrenching and awful.

Furthermore depressing is the fact that “Want You Bad” has no resolution. It’s simply a song about a guy brimming with desire; it remains to be seen if her ‘bad desire’ is him. The listening audience is left without that “Pretty Woman” moment of satisfaction when - alas! what does he see? She’s walking back to him! (One may argue that Roy Orbison’s cat meow might just be enough to lure any woman).

The song reminds me of “the other side” of love; a side some of us know all too well. It’s the side where Beauty ditches the Beast for Gaston; the side where Rachel marries the womanizing Italian model and never gets with Ross. On this side, Jim settles for another “Pam” and his heart breaks a little more each time he sees “real Pam” with that douchebag, Roy. Basically, it’s the dimension where everything you know about love, from virtually ALL media, is wrong.

Why are we hardly ever exposed to “the other” love story?

Of course it doesn’t make sense that we ever would know that tale. We’re all rooting for Ross & Rachel; Jim & Pam. Our beloved sitcom and movie couples paint the picture of what love should be: longing for and fighting for someone and finally achieving success. Seeing these lovers satiate their desires and win out, against all odds, is what we want and pay for (it’s what advertisers pay the networks for!!) Love must prevail, and always in the most epic way.

The reality, that sometimes douchebags get and end up with the girl or perfectly loveable girls don’t find their prince charming, would never sell. It’s dark and dreary. It’s what it’s like when the cameras are off. Silence. No musical score by John Williams. No flight simulation and passionate kiss on the bow of the Titanic.

For those who never watched the show “Friends,” the passionate love story between Ross and Rachel was a central theme; he loved her for over 10 years before they finally dated. Rachel never knew Ross existed for most of those 10 years and went through a barrage of “wrong” guys for her, naturally, until finally on one rainy night in the dimly lit door frame of Central Perk, the group’s local hangout, they kissed. The music revved up; the rest is history.

In my life I’ve had many “Rachels” to my “Ross.” Except there was no spontaneous and life-changing kiss to make my love story a story. Many of these Rachels are now getting married off.

And It’s not just me.

Many people, just like Dexter in his song, have chased after someone else only to learn the harsh truth - they’re just not interested. Or they’re with someone they love. Or they’re married or absolutely not interested and probably never will be. The rejection is real (unlike in the romantic comedies when the girl says, “absolutely no way!” and 30 minutes later she’s in bed with that guy).

In truth it seems, the other guy or girl you’re competing against is not the heartless @sshole or raging bitch the other guy or girl always seems to be, but in fact the love of that person’s life. And on this side, that’s tough to take.

I group myself in the category of “other sider” because right now, that’s where I am. This is not to say us folk won’t find love; find someone special. It’s just that we haven’t really had that epic moment yet or prevailed over the “wrong” person and became the “right” one for anyone. We want people we can’t have, but feel we deserve. We struggle to understand why.

Here’s hoping anyone living the other love story will seek out, and get, the Rachel to his Ross or vice versa.

Never give up hope that they’re out there…